Your Butt Stinks

"Opinions are like assholes everyone has one."

-Harry Callahan, The Dead Pool, 1988.  

To add to Mr. Callahan's genius observation: no one can tolerate each other's assholes...except dogs.  At least dogs can tolerate each other's butts, even our butts.  Social media has given us the opportunity and the pressure to form an opinion on everything, and to passionately oppose opinions that differ from ours.  Posts that are free of factual information.  There's a silent 'ding' noise anytime you post a controversial opinion on Facebook; "Round One: Fight!  Mortal Kombat!"  On any topic.  Abortion.  Evolution theory.  Reincarnation.  Milk allergies.  Pepsi vs. Coke.  Look out, because if you don't agree, it's ON LIKE DONKEY KONG!  (Yes, I'm a child of the 90s).

Here's the worst part:  the so called tolerant have become completely intolerant.  You know the ones.  They stand on their soap box and recite information they read in a university class 10 years ago.  Life experience doesn't count with these nimrods.  The kind that shop only at fair trade stores, yet support FOXCON with their never ending smartphone upgrades.  Hypocrites.  But we all are.  The real issue is their call to be tolerant and diverse, then the absolute shunning of anyone who doesn't share their opinion.

For example, there are some people in the world that think killing a baby in a woman's womb is wrong.  Holy shit, I said baby.  "It's a zygote, you red neck! And it's about women's rights!"  I watched a friend's life turn upside down after she had her first abortion.  She grew distant and started abusing drugs heavily.  Three more abortions followed.  It was painful to watch.  That's how I formed my personal opinion on a very complex issue.  Personal experience.   Yet, this story means nothing to the so called tolerant.  They have far too much education, and factual information to listen to my life experience.  To these people, my butt must really stink.

The "tolerant" won't even listen to the other side.  Let's take the creation vs. evolution debate that always gets a lot of attention.  Social media swarms with rude, negative comments about the unpopular creationist theory.  Before the debate even starts people have their minds made up on what they believe.  They end up rooting so loudly for their side the other side is completely drowned out, and no one hears anything.   As soon as the words "creationism" or "evolution" are uttered, people wait for their turn to talk with bated breath and an intense mind to go into battle.  Nothing is ever gained.

Even you.  You are forming an opinion right now.  You are thinking, she must be one of those crazy Christians from down south you read about.  What if I told you I'm an atheist?  If you're an atheist, would you relate to me and listen to what I have to say.  If you're a Christian you might think I'm the devil, and stop reading so I don't corrupt your brain.  Now, if you're a pastafarian, we'd end up praying to the spaghetti monster with noodles on our heads, together chanting, "raaaaaamen!" (this is not an actual practice pastafarians partake in).  People will only listen to the facts that prove them right because everyone has to be right all the time.  We've forgotten how to listen with an open mind, assuming we ever knew how. Facebook and social media are to blame.  They have given us a voice, and a tribe to agree with us.  We become obsessed with other's saying "you're right!"  That reinforcing comment is what we look for.  Admit it, when you post something you check back to see how many likes, comments, or retweets it's gotten.  We don't see or respect the person challenging our views or opinions, so there's no more listening.  By the way, I'm not an atheist.  Jesus is just way too cool.  Yep, crazy Christian (so keep reading Christians).   Take another whiff of my butt everyone else!!

We've all done our own research or had our own personal experiences that formed an opinion on a particular world issue.  Guess what?  You're wrong. I'm wrong.  No one effing knows who is right anyways.  If you're passionate about something, listen.  That's how we can educate each other.  In order to find the real truth we have to be able to admit to we don't have everything figured out.   Be brave to be different if that's your conviction.  I know, I know, I sound pretty self righteous talking about the self righteous.  You might even say I'm not tolerating the intolerance of the tolerant.
   

Remember, your butt stinks, so don't stick it in anyone's face.  Be like a well behaved dog, wait until they ask to see your butt.